she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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