i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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