Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
