i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize