i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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