in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
