I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
