covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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