i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
