At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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