Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize