My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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