It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
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Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
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I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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