i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
