i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you would pick up someone in the library
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
