There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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