I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Boobs are out for the taking
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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