How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
