I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
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