i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
can u get pink eye on your cock?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize