Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(305): View more from Florida

He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.

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(443): View more from Maryland

She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(914): View more from New York

The ice cream man just told me to use protection.

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(907): View more from Alaska

I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.

(907): View more from Alaska

I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

At least you have booty calls.

(1-901): View more from Tennessee

True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china

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(503): View more from Oregon

Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.

(541): View more from Oregon

Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.

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(630): View more from Illinois

How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts

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