Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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