what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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