Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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