Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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