Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
