Cold hands, warm shart.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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