I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
