Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize