we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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