What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize