great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
