How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
