I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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