I wish I could punch you in the face.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Randomize
