Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
