Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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