The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
