Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Randomize