i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
