oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
