oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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