he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize