my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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