I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
