what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
