I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
