I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize