He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
