guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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