i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
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There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
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I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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