You're so nebulous sometimes
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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