the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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