Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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