I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
