I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Randomize
