You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
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the night ended with taco bell and tears
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
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