All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
