FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize