It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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