Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
