I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Randomize
